No-One To Blame For Stockwell Tube Station Poster

NO-ONE should be blamed for an insensitive film poster displayed at Stockwell Underground station, watchdogs said last night.

The Advertising Standards Authority received hundreds of complaints over the poster for the terrible film Righteous Kill, which carried the slogan, 'Sometimes it's okay to shoot Brazilians'.

But the ASA ruled that while it was clear that individual people had made the film, designed the poster and then decided to put the poster in Stockwell tube station, no-one was actually to blame for putting the poster there.

A spokesman said: "These people were forced to make a series of split-second decisions over a period of about six months."

But Tom Logan, a human rights lawyer, said: "There's a big sign outside that says 'Stockwell', which means it's very difficult to confuse it with any other tube station.

"Stockwell tube station did not ask for this, it was not acting in a provocative way, it was just going about its daily business of being a tube station.

"More importantly, the poster company had plenty of time to stop it and ask 'excuse me, what tube station are you?'.

"If it shrugs, looks a bit confused and answers you in Brazilian then you probably shouldn't cover it in a great big poster."

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Life Is Not Some Piece Of Shit Film, Women Told

WOMEN who think their relationships should mirror those in romantic comedies are pathetic, experts revealed last night.

Scientists asked 1,000 women to list the characteristics they would look for in an ideal partner and 89% said Matthew McConaughey in Failure to Launch.

And when asked the necessary ingredients for a balanced and successful long-term relationship, 94% said Matthew McConaughey in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Women believe that somewhere out there is the perfect man and that fate will bring them together, usually after a series of silly mistakes.

"But eventually he will realise that the incredibly good looking one he thought he was in love with is really just a stupid, evil cow."

He added: "They will know who he is the moment they see him, and he will know everything they are feeling at the very moment they are feeling it because, really, they are the same person, separated by God at the moment of conception, but now, miraculously, brought back together by him to be made whole again.

"But the thing is, that's a load of shit."

Meanwhile Emma Cook, a sales manager from Derby, stressed that she was just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her, adding: "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed."

Her husband Julian said: "Alright, I – love – you. Are we done? Good, because I am absolutely fucking soaked."