Northern family has no-nonsense day out

A FAMILY from Bolton has gone on a blunt, plain-speaking and principled day out at a theme park.

The Steele family journeyed to Alton Towers by bus, taking packed lunches and waterproof coats, and resolved not to put up with any silliness on the way.

Norman Steele said: “I got to the front and they asked if I wanted a ‘Fastrack’ to skip the queues. I said the queues are what we’re here for, love.

“We looked at that Rita Queen of Speed but 60 seconds and you’re back where you started with your hair mussed. We went on Oblivion six times instead, because that’s value.

“We used the map – wandering’s for folk with time on their hands – and we enjoyed ourselves an amount up to or even exceeding the entrance price while Southerners were swigging fizzy pop they’d paid over the odds for.

“It’s a shame they’ve closed the log flume, because that wasn’t too aggravating on the heart and I knew where to sit so you wouldn’t get wet. Still.”

On the way out of the park, Steele’s ten-year-old son Alex was heard asking if he could have a blue slushie, instead receiving a clip round the ear.

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Butterflies and bees thank Muhammad Ali for the compliment

BUTTERFLY and bee populations have paid tribute to Muhammad Ali and thanked him for his gracious compliment.

The flying insects said that after the late heavyweight champion compared himself to them in 1974 it had boosted their public profile and given their communities ‘great pride’.

Tom Logan, a butterfly from Stevenage, said: “We used to be thought of as rather fancy and insubstantial. After Ali compared himself to us, other insects realised that butterflies are not just decorative, but that we have power and grace.

“It gave us a lot more respect and influence in the insect world and you can’t put a price on that.”

Martin Bishop, a bumble bee from Hatfield, said: “Bees are not naturally aggressive. We just want to go about our business. But Ali created the idea of bees being beautiful, determined and a bit dangerous and edgy.

“It’s incredibly cool being a bee. He started that.”