NON-RESIDENTS of Notting Hill are looking forward to this year’s chance to destroy the affluent London borough with impunity.
Thousands will flock to this weekend’s carnival to throw cans of Red Stripe at oligarchs and vomit in Richard Curtis’s garden without any fear of being arrested.
Wayne Hayes said: “I’ll never be rich enough to live in Notting Hill, so ruining it for the people who live there is the next best thing.
“It’s great to combine my love of Caribbean culture with my fondness for overpriced fast food, taunting police officers and smashing shop windows.”
Meanwhile, residents of Notting Hill are packing Dom Perignon for their annual excursion to Brixton, where they will paint the doors of residents’ houses in Farrow & Ball colours.