AN ATTRACTIVE woman has been marked as an alpha male’s property with a territorial Valentine’s bouquet.
Marketing executive Eleanor Shaw received the flowers this morning, in a clear signal to other males of mating age to back away.
Audit manager Julian Cook said: “The minute the bouquet arrived, noses were twitching and hackles were raised throughout the building.
“This was no small display. It was a full-blooded challenge costing at least 85 quid with two dozen roses and a fancy box.
“Valentine’s Day might have got suitors flocking, but this female has now been indelibly marked.”
He added: “Martin from purchasing strutted over there all cocky but when he saw the bouquet he slunk back whimpering, with his tail between his legs.
“The word is out. Eleanor is off-limits.”
Shaw said: “Aw, my boyfriend may act all big and tough but he’s a big, soppy romantic at heart. To think he did all this just for me.”