Office workers visiting the bathroom just for something to do

MOST office toilet breaks are merely for the sake of variety, it has emerged.

Sales co-ordinator Emma Bradford said: “It’s nothing to do with bodily functions. It’s just a change of scenery, even though it’s just toilet scenery.

“If there’s nobody else in there I don’t even go in a cubicle. I just look in the mirror for a bit and maybe put the hand dryer on.

“I do that roughly every 45 minutes.”

Call centre operative Stephen Malley also uses his offices’ disabled toilet as a leisure destination: “I’m not disabled but the seat has better padding than the normal toilet and you have a room to yourself.

“It’s like the work equivalent of visiting a theme park. Sometimes I turn the taps on and off, off and on.”

The Daily Mash in your inbox

Do not photograph more than four eggs per day, say experts

TAKING Instagram egg photos can trigger insanity, it has emerged.

Experts warned of a phenomenon called ‘the gleam’ where egg photographers see their faces reflected in the yolk, triggering a moment of realisation which destroys their mind.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “If you look into the yolk for long enough, the yolk looks into you.

“Seeing your own stupid phone-wielding form reflected in an orangey hue can cause a permanent and acute feeling of pointlessness.

“Instead of another shot of your soy-cured Taiwanese yolk cake, show us a Starbucks latte with a random vintage filter.

“Or rather than food porn, try posting some sex porn. You’ll get banned from Instagram, but perhaps that’s okay.”

Avid smartphone photographer Nikki Hollis said: “I take pictures of my meals because eating has an essential ritual aspect.

“That’s posh talk for ‘I think showing off is good and I need strangers to like me’.”