Office workers visiting the bathroom just for something to do

MOST office toilet breaks are merely for the sake of variety, it has emerged.

Sales co-ordinator Emma Bradford said: “It’s nothing to do with bodily functions. It’s just a change of scenery, even though it’s just toilet scenery.

“If there’s nobody else in there I don’t even go in a cubicle. I just look in the mirror for a bit and maybe put the hand dryer on.

“I do that roughly every 45 minutes.”

Call centre operative Stephen Malley also uses his offices’ disabled toilet as a leisure destination: “I’m not disabled but the seat has better padding than the normal toilet and you have a room to yourself.

“It’s like the work equivalent of visiting a theme park. Sometimes I turn the taps on and off, off and on.”

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Do not photograph more than four eggs per day, say experts

TAKING Instagram egg photos can trigger insanity, it has emerged.

Experts warned of a phenomenon called ‘the gleam’ where egg photographers see their faces reflected in the yolk, triggering a moment of realisation which destroys their mind.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “If you look into the yolk for long enough, the yolk looks into you.

“Seeing your own stupid phone-wielding form reflected in an orangey hue can cause a permanent and acute feeling of pointlessness.

“Instead of another shot of your soy-cured Taiwanese yolk cake, show us a Starbucks latte with a random vintage filter.

“Or rather than food porn, try posting some sex porn. You’ll get banned from Instagram, but perhaps that’s okay.”

Avid smartphone photographer Nikki Hollis said: “I take pictures of my meals because eating has an essential ritual aspect.

“That’s posh talk for ‘I think showing off is good and I need strangers to like me’.”