ONE in 10 young unemployed British adults is so dissatisfied with life that they are just begging to be kicked in the teeth, new research suggests.
A survey by the Prince's Trust found 30% of young people are less happy than they were as a child, mainly because they are now expected to pay for some of their own stuff.
Almost half said they were regularly stressed, usually at the thought of someone asking them to do something.
Meanwhile 62 percent are just little shits who would benefit enormously from being dropped into the middle of an African civil war.
Sociologist, Professor Tom Logan, said: "Being young and unemployed must be awful. Then again I offered my nephew twenty quid to wash my car and he cut my achilles tendon with a fruit knife."
Charles Undungwe, 16, from Zimbabwe, said: "Life here can be dissatisfying too, what with all the cholera and starvation, but you just pull your socks up and get on with it. Except we've eaten all the socks."
He added: "Despite my poverty I hope that one day I will be able to go to college, learn valuable skills, get a job and make money so that I can buy a plane ticket, fly to England and punch every single one of you squarely in the face."