PEOPLE who have yet to watch Adam Curtis’s Bitter Lake have been banned from expressing views on anything.
The new ruling forbids those who have not seen the critically acclaimed, wilfully obscure documentary from offering their opinions on the grounds that they do not know the truth.
Unemployed Nathan Muir, 19, said: “Non-Bitter Lake viewers are basically brainless automatons programmed to sit, stay, beg and roll over on this sordid capitalist conveyor belt we call ‘life’.”
When asked what the film was actually about Muir replied that it was sort of something to do with war and drugs and corporations and why we’re all brainwashed by adverts.
He added: “I’m not wasting my time explaining it to you.”
31-year-old Tom Booker, who has yet to see the documentary, said: “I didn’t really like my opinions anyways, they always seemed to fall a bit flat at barbecues.
“Now I can sit and binge-watch Sons of Anarchy on Netflix and just blame it on being a puppet of the mass media.”