38-year-old Norman Steele has been targeted by patronising supportive remarks for being a larger nightclub dancer.
Steele was busting moves to the Ghostbusters theme tune at his local Evolution club when people began shouting praise.
He said: “This group of blokes were shaking my hand, saying ‘nice one mate’ and ‘let us buy you a pint’. I was confused because I am shit at dancing.
“Then a really super attractive girl gave me a rose which was doubly puzzling. Suddenly the penny dropped – it was all because I’m fat.
“My message to all those people being extra nice to me on Friday night is fuck off. I am not your performing pony. I am a fat guy shaking his shit.
“Just because I’m big, I don’t need your stupid encouragement just to do normal stuff like going out, washing my car, or indeed eating a kebab. I blame the internet.”
Nightclub-goer Emma Bradford said: “Chubby people in clubs love my unsolicited comments like, ‘you’re a big beautiful mover’ or ‘you are an ambassador for your kind’.
“Just like wheelchair-using strangers love it when I lean over them and go ‘nice one mate’ while doing a double thumbs-up right in their brave faces. I’m an awesome person.”
