Wednesday, 28th October 2020

Parents 'lose six years of their lives getting everyone in the f**king car'

PARENTS waste six years of their lives getting their children into the f**king car, research has confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that families with young kids can take up to three hours just to leave the house and get everyone into their seats.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “You’ll be standing in the p*ssing rain for over an hour waiting for a two-year-old to ‘get in the car by herself’.

“Then there’s locating toys and strapping the little b*stards in. When you’re about to drive off you can guarantee one of them will need a sh*t and you’ll have to get out and start the whole process again.

“Our research suggests this wastes almost 53,000 hours of your life and barely improves until they become teenagers, when they become a pain in different ways.”

Father-of-two Martin Bishop said: “It’s taken me 45 minutes to wrestle Oscar into his car seat. He kicked me in the face, just in case I wasn’t already having enough hassle with the changing bag and the f**king pram.

“Leaving the house just isn’t worth it. I’m going to stay at home with the back door open and let them roam free.”