PEOPLE with big letters strewn around their homes are illiterate morons, it has been confirmed.
93 per cent of UK homes contain large decorative letters made of wood or metal, either spelling out their initials, the word ‘love’ or simply strewn around like the relics of a broken language.
Interior designer Mary Fisher said: “If decorative letter owners could read, the random bits of alphabet littering their rooms would do their heads in.
“The simple fact is that they do not realise they are letters. They just consider them to be trendy, funky squiggly patterns.”
43-year-old Stephen Malley has a massive metal ‘R’ on his mantelpiece. He said: “I just assumed it was a simple picture of a lady with big tits.”
Malley confirmed he had never seen a book but that he did not like the idea of one.
“Apparently it’s lots of little pictures all in rows, printed on very thin bits of wood all stuck together. It does sound like something that would make visitors think we are cool.”