ANYONE without a valid passport is to be confined in a vast internment camp the size and shape of the United Kingdom.
Those held in the camp, which is heavily guarded to stop anyone escaping, have complained of inedible food, inadequate accommodation and cigarettes being used as currency.
Roy Hobbs, who cannot get a passport because he cannot fit his whole face in the frame, said: The people who run this place treat us like animals.
Some of the residents have been here so long theyre dying without ever being allowed to leave.
The only reason we have sex is because we’ve all been locked up for so long that we’re willing to do it with anyone.
Amnesty International has called on the Government to free the millions of people who cannot afford to pay the bribe demanded by the UK Passport Service.
A Home Office spokesman said: We cannot simply unleash these dregs of humanity on the rest of Europe without damaging its social fabric.
Nor would they be able to cope with the sunlight, the spicy food and the reasonably good transport infrastructure.
They are confined here for their own good.