'Perfectionism' just an excuse to have massive tantrums

PEOPLE who claim to be perfectionists are just moody bastards, it has emerged.

The Institute for Studies found that self-styled perfectionists were not really interested in being better at things, but simply wanted an excuse to shout at people.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “People describe themselves as perfectionists like it’s a medical condition. In America they even call it a ‘Type A personality’. The subtext is ‘so I have full clearance to be a dick’.”

Professor Brubaker believes that despite the claims of perfectionists to be a bit special, nobody likes things to be done badly.

“If you ask someone whether they would rather have a perfect cake or a smashed-up one with dirty fingerprints all over it, the answer is pretty obvious.

“Therefore everyone is a perfectionist. Or to put it another way, perfectionism is just bollocks.”

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Men demand Tesco remove ‘gifts for children’ sign

ANGRY men have told Tesco to remove signs implying toys are for children.

The supermarket has labelled goods as being ‘gifts for boys or girls’ when some of them are actually X-Wing Fighters or really big water guns.

Sarah Bishop, from Stevenage, said: “I was in Tesco with my husband Martin and we saw a Bat Bike next to a sign saying ‘great gifts for kids’.

“So I immediately got my phone out and took a photo of Martin holding the box and looking really grumpy.”

Mrs Bishop and her two young daughters then moved the Batman toys, the action figures and all of the Lego to a different part of the supermarket while Mr Bishop sat in a trolley with his arms folded.

A spokesman for campaign group Let Men Be Boys said: “Men should be able to buy things without the childish pretence that they are either collectables or intended for a child.”

Mrs Bishop added: “Come on Tesco bosses, sort it out. Or Martin and his friends will find out where you live and kick the shit out of you.”