PEOPLE who claim to be perfectionists are just moody bastards, it has emerged.
The Institute for Studies found that self-styled perfectionists were not really interested in being better at things, but simply wanted an excuse to shout at people.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “People describe themselves as perfectionists like it’s a medical condition. In America they even call it a ‘Type A personality’. The subtext is ‘so I have full clearance to be a dick’.”
Professor Brubaker believes that despite the claims of perfectionists to be a bit special, nobody likes things to be done badly.
“If you ask someone whether they would rather have a perfect cake or a smashed-up one with dirty fingerprints all over it, the answer is pretty obvious.
“Therefore everyone is a perfectionist. Or to put it another way, perfectionism is just bollocks.”