Pint spillage forgiven in most grudging possible manner

A MAN has ostensibly forgiven the accidental spillage of his pint while maintaining a threat level close to maximum.

Not replaceable

Seasoned drinker Julian Cook was enjoying a fourth pint in a Swindon pub when student Roy Hobbs knocked into his table, causing beer to slop onto his leg.

Hobbs immediately began apologising, while Cook waited several seconds to gather his thoughts before responding.

He said: “It’s alright. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Hobbs immediately made matters worse by getting a bar towel and dabbing at Cook’s thigh.

Cook said: “It’ll dry. Best to leave it. No, leave it.

“Seriously, leave it.”

Cook then responded to Hobbs’s offer of a replacement drink by looking at him like he wanted to stick his hand down his throat and pull out his heart, after which Hobbs retreated to the bar and avoided eye contact for the remainder of the night.

Onlooker Emma Bradford said: “That was a masterclass in passive aggression. In fact I’m not sure it was even passive.

“What I took from it is that if you spill a stranger’s pint, nothing can make it better.”