A MAN has instantly regretted taking an Ecstasy pill at his work Christmas party, it has emerged.
28-year-old Stephen Malley brought a small bag of pills to his office’s Christmas gathering at a local brasserie. After calling workmates who refused them ‘pussies’, Malley swallowed a pill just as the buffet was being clearly away to make space for the disco.
He said: “Now I’m off my tits and someone’s talking to me about stakeholder pensions. I need some water and to get my shit together. Need to sit in the disabled toilet for a bit and chain smoke.
“No wait, you can’t smoke indoors. Or can you? I feel confused, I need to eat one of those mini sausages so that I look normal.
“Then maybe I can get behind a curtain. These curtains feel soft.”
Co-worker Nikki Hollis said: “Stephen loves to think of himself as the ‘crazy one’ but we all thought this was a stupid idea because he would be a gurning mess in a room where most people are over 50.
“He’ll be okay during the disco, going mental to Yazz and Snoop Dogg, but I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes when it ends at 10.30. That’s going to be a very lonely place.”