'Prick' replacing 'bellend' as insult of choice

USE of the insult ‘prick’ is at its highest level since the late 1980s, researchers have found.

The once-popular ‘prick’ fell into disuse, replaced by other penis-based insults including ‘bellend’ and the evergreen ‘tool’, but has found itself enjoying a resurgence.

Etymologist Dr Helen Archer said: “When we call someone a bellend, a tool or even a dickhead, there’s the possibility they may just be foolish or inept.

“Meanwhile, the double-edged sword of ‘wanker’ can refer to either self-satisfied pomposity or pathetic, solitary onanism.

“But shouting ‘prick’ at someone on the television, or a speeding Audi driver, defines them succintly and completely.”

The return of the insult, which has been in decline since that Halifax advert where the prick who lives in a warehouse goes to get milk, is a response to changing political and social conditions, Archer believes.

She said: “Britain was full of jumped-up pricks in the 80s, whereas the 90s was the Age of the Arseholes.

“There is, once again, an unmistakable prickishness in the air.”

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SNP developing its own flag and salute

THE Scottish National Party is to develop its own flag and a special salute for party members.

The SNP said the flag will be used on ceremonial occasions, such as rallies, marches and on every public building on every day of the year.

Early ideas for the flag include a white circle on a blue background with a black thistle in the centre.

Party leader Nicola Sturgeon said: “We had this massive rally in Glasgow a few months ago and I thought, ‘Jesus, this feels amazing’.

“We’ve nothing against the saltire, it’s a lovely flag, so this new one will compliment it. At least for a while anyway.”

She added: “The salute could be people clapping their hands above their heads a couple of times, like they were at a Suzi Quatro concert.”

Meanwhile, experts said the prospect of the SNP winning every seat in Scotland was ‘incredibly healthy’.

Julian Cook, professor of politics at Edinburgh University, said: “A nationalist movement dominating its society in every way. Who in their right mind does not think that’s a brilliant idea?”