A PUB’S diversifying clientele has separated into groupings of those who wear the same brands as the professionals and those who dress from Sports Direct.
Youngsters wearing New Balance running shoes and niche third kits of foreign clubs have claimed the saloon bar of Essex pub the Canalside Tavern, while the snug is firmly the territory of those wearing Lonsdale tracksuits and Everlast hoodies.
Bartender Ryan Whittaker said: “The class divide is real and delineated in which logo you’ve got on your polyester.
“It’s become a thing for the young and upwardly mobile to hang out in shit pubs like this and check out who’s copped the best limited edition jersey, while Mr Slazenger Trackies glowers from the other side of the room.
“But the threat of violence hangs heavy when some girl in her Lululemon legging struts past a rough old bird in a stained Ellesse sweater. Soccer Saturday’s the worst because the chavvy ones keep switching the TV over to League Two games.
“The peace is kept by bodybuilders wearing the neutral colours of Under Armour, but at any moment a web interface storyteller will swan in wearing Sweaty Betty and it’ll all kick off.”
At press time, the pub had been divided further by the entrance of a faction of middle-class professionals in North Face hats, Mammut hiking boots and £350 Arc’teryx puffa jackets.
