INDUSTRIAL action by teachers will not undermine pupils’ lack of respect for them, it has been confirmed.
Some teachers had worried that strike action over pension cuts would diminish the towering esteem in which they are held by their bright-eyed young charges.
However pupils have responded by stressing that they have never actually considered them to be human beings.
Stephen Malley, 13, from Swindon said: “Some of the teachers at my school are striking, some are not. It’s a personal choice I suppose but either way, they’re all massive twats.
“Plus they have all failed in life because otherwise they wouldn’t be teachers. They’d be rappers or footballers.
“But I definitely don’t dislike them more for striking. I can stay at home and learn from the television.”
Kyle Thompson, 12 from Peterborough, added: “Our French teacher Mrs Bradford said she was going to cross the picket line because otherwise it would affect our education and also the bond of trust between her and us.
“That’s all fine but what really matters is that Mrs Bradford has a massive minge. She took us for swimming and I saw that she is pretty much all the hair from the waist down.
“When I saw it I puked in my mouth.”