GOING for ‘a drink’ after work means going for seven drinks, it has been confirmed.
Researchers found that workplace stress and the deliciousness of alcohol means a ‘quick drink’ now takes hours because of all the drinking.
Personal assistant Nikki Hollis said: “If I say I’m going for a couple then going home, I actually mean that within three hours I’ll be pissing in an alley while screaming Katy Perry’s Roar.
“And please do sublet my flat for the next month because I won’t be able to find it.”
Tom Logan, from Peterborough, added: “Once I’ve had a quick drink, I’m going to eat two pizzas and then busy myself with a young lady who has also had no more than a couple.