Race horses changing names by deed poll

INCREASING numbers of Britain’s race horses are changing their original idiotic names, it has emerged.

The horses say they are no longer happy with incredibly stupid names given to them by owners who are both rich and vulgar.

Racehorse Sputnik Supernova said: “My name is frankly ridiculous and makes me feel really self-conscious in front of mares.

“I’m changing it to a normal name, Iain Galbraith. It’s probably less exciting for racing commentators but so be it. You can’t buy self-respect.”

Fellow racehorse Wee Irish Laddie said: “For fuck’s sake, I come from Kent and am large.

“I had a friend called Starlit Rumpy Pumpy. He killed himself.”