ASYLUM seekers must make themselves identifiable by humming Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones, ministers have confirmed.
Following failed experiments with wristbands and colour-coded doors, getting refugees to walk around humming the well-known Stones tune is the latest sensitive scheme to distinguish them from the rest of humanity.
A government spokesman said: “It’s appropriate because they do indeed want shelter, and not humiliating because it is a classic rock anthem.
“They need to do something to set themselves apart from everyone, otherwise they might get all mixed up with fully fledged human beings.”
34-year-old refugee Sayid Hussan said: “Apparently I also have to ‘do the dance’. I am doing not the dance, I’m sorry but no way.”