THE government is to combat rail strikes by putting together a crack team of retired ‘scabs’.
The team is lead by former train driver and scab, Martin ‘Blackleg’ Bishop, who once crossed eight picket lines in a day in the summer of 1973.
Bishop said: “When I got the call from Cameron I said, ‘I’m retired, my scab days are behind me’. Then he offered me more money, which I couldn’t resist because I’m a total scab.”
Bishop has also recruited legendary scabs Norman ‘Strike-breaker’ Steele and Roy ‘Capitalist Stooge’ Hobbs.
He added: “These guys are still passionate about undermining the power of collective bargaining.”
Steele will be in charge of transportation, while Hobbs specialises in taking massive amounts of foul-mouthed abuse.
Hobbs said: “It’s my last chance to be called a bastard by some filthy Marxist in a donkey jacket.”