PEOPLE with t-shirts, tote bags or Twitter bios that say ‘Sarf London’ have failed to grasp how cockneys talk, it has been claimed.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “‘Saaf London’ is a more accurate written representation of a cockney saying ‘South London’.
“’Sarf London’, on the other hand, makes you sound like a World War II brigadier with a cleft palate.”
“The people who publicly identify themselves with the slogan ‘Sarf London’ have only moved to London recently from the Home Counties or a small northern satellite town. Their understanding of the local accent is based on half-remembered episodes of Only Fools and Horses.”
Brixton resident Nikki Hollis, 34, said: “When I moved here from Fleet, Hampshire, six months ago, I immediately bought a bag for life with ‘Sarf London’ stencilled across it, and changed my location on Facebook to ‘Dahn there in that Sarf London, innit’.
“The discovery that, rather than seamlessly blending in with the locals, I have instead been making a very public fool of myself is extremely difficult to cope with.”
“I hate to seem superficial when actually I have a deep understanding of house prices and brunch.”