Scientists discover most middle class tattoo

THE most middle class tattoo is the word ‘moustache’ in a speech bubble, coming out of a swallow’s mouth, on the wearer’s finger.

Face tattoos remain completely fucking mental

Face tattoos remain completely fucking mental

The design has been confirmed as the ultimate mix of modern and heritage trends, indicating that the inked person is playful, enjoys hand-made tapenade and has spent at least £50 in Stow-on-the-Wold.

Dr Nathan Muir explained: “Previously, the tattoo was a useful indicator of impending hospitalisation.

“You were dealing with someone who would knock you unconscious with a bar stool and then use it to anally penetrate you before emptying your pockets and having a go on the fruity.

“Meanwhile, meeting a girl with a tattoo was like getting a free pass to Disneyland. If it was full of skanks.

“But now you pick up a woman with a load of wild tribal designs, just to discover the only thing she’s going to blow is a frangipani tea light.”

Francesca Johnson, a Pilates blogger, said “When I first got my swallow, it was a statement of individuality. Then everyone got one, so I added the moustache detail and it became ironic.

“My Granny always hated it, but now she’s thinking about getting her own as someone told her there’s a pop up tattoo parlour at the Conran Shop.”

She added: “I have complained to Westminster City Council.”