Short men to spend day thinking about being short

SHORT men have confirmed plans to spend the day contemplating their small stature.

Men of lesser height confirmed that shortness-related concerns would be popping into their minds at some point today, like they always do.

Short man Wayne Hayes said: “I’m supposed to be preparing a presentation for work today but instead I’ve just made a list of all the cool short men in the world.

“I’ve just googled Kurt Russell and apparently he is quite short. Not as short as me though.”

He added: “My feet are so very small.”

Below-average-height Roy Hobbs said: “Sometimes I’ll just be eating a sandwich or fixing my bike and I’ll think ‘oh dear God, I’m so short’.

“Then I have to go and do something to over-compensate, like buying a jeep or running around a ’tough mudder’ assault course.

“I hope that one day science will find a cure for shortness. But they’ll probably just invent even taller tall people at the same time, creating a whole new set of problems.”