Show-off couple to have twins

A FLASHY couple are expecting twins just to go one better than their friends with only one baby.

Tom and Rachel Logan have smugly informed close friends that they will soon be welcoming two baby girls, making their parenthood experience at least twice as rewarding as everyone else’s.

Friend Stephen Malley said: “Typical. Absolutely bloody typical.

“They couldn’t have them one at a time like any normal couple. No, they get to be the most tired, the most harrassed, the most crippled-by-childcare of anyone.

“Christ, I won’t even be able to tell a funny story about Henry vomiting in his Robofish tank without frigging Beyoncé one-upping it with how her double blessings vomit telepathically in separate rooms.

“Next time they’re round I’m putting The Shining on.”

Wife Julie Malley said: “I’d love to see Tom and Rachel having twins. However, I’d love to see it after they’d already had their first child.

“Imagine the smug dicks suddenly being stuck with three. That’d be hilarious.”