A WOMAN who went to a dinner party with three annoying couples would definitely rather be getting hammered at home, she has confirmed.
Nikki Hollis was invited to dinner by friends concerned she might be lonely and sad due to being single, when she would rather have been at home with some wine and not having to put up with their tedious married bullshit.
Hollis, 32, said: “I only went along to humour them, as I know it makes them feel good to patronise me a bit about being single, especially as they are all clearly seething with resentment towards their partners.
“But it was a wasted night really, as for me there is no greater pleasure than spending the night in, getting pissed and not having to talk about middle class wank.
“Sometimes I drink a bottle of Prosecco from one of those massive Sports Direct mugs using a straw, just because there’s no one around to get funny about me not using a ‘proper’ glass.
“Then I’ll watch seven episodes of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares in a row before nearly setting the house on fire making toast.
“Would I swap it for being tutted at and asked if I’m coming to bed soon? No fucking chance.”