STRUGGLING to find the right words on awkward occasions? These are the cards we desperately need to help us express ourselves:
Sorry you’ve had an ugly baby
Even if the child in question is undeniably arse-faced or looks like Star Wars co-pilot Nien Nunb, you can’t come out and say it to the parents’ faces. With the help of a twee card you can address the elephant in the room in a tasteful way. Don’t expect to be asked to be a godparent.
Congratulations on the shit bedsit
Homeowners shouldn’t be the only people congratulated on getting a new place. With young people unable to buy for the foreseeable future, there’s a gap in the market for cards that celebrate renting overpriced bedsits with mould up the walls. With messages like ‘Good luck sleeping in the same room as a fridge!’
Thinking of how much I hate you
We all have people in our lives who we loathe with every fibre of our being but have to pretend to like. By exchanging hateful cards we could set the record straight and clear the air. It’s no more of a bullshit idea than Valentine’s Day, after all.
Hooray! Your ex was a f**king nightmare
When a friend finally dumps someone who was an absolute bellend, it’s nice to be able to celebrate by sending them a card that expresses just how much you disliked them. Maybe give it a few days though, in case they’re still feeling raw about it all or take the f**ker back.
Good luck at your family gathering
There are cards wishing people luck before jobs and surgery, so why not another common ordeal that’s equally as harrowing? Anyone about to go to a barbecue with their in-laws or a camping weekend with their nephews would be grateful for your best wishes.
