MEN are considering whether to start having emotions about things that are not sport.
Following England’s early departure from the World Cup, men are looking at a variety of new options for their emotional investment, including human relationships and insects carrying heavy objects.
Father-of-two Tom Booker said: “For all my adult life, I’ve put my entire emotional capacity into the proximity of a leather-covered sphere to some wooden posts.
“But this seems to be fraught with disappointment, time and again I am left feeling empty inside, while the footballers themselves don’t seem to care less about me.
“Maybe I should have emotions about my wife and children instead?
“Although they seem relatively unexciting I do share a house with them. They might even give me some emotions back.
“There are plenty of other things to get emotional about though, like for example the moon. Last night I cheered at it when it came out, shouting ‘Come on the moon!’, that felt pretty good.
“I could calling myself a moon fan.”
43-year-old Bill McKay said: “I feel like football has been an outlet for the passion and energy I should have been putting into my marriage.
“But before addressing that I’ve got to yell encouragement at the ant carrying a big piece of leaf across the lawn.”