Summer half-term ‘a taste of true horror to come’

THE summer half-term break has provided parents with an insight into the horror show of looking after their children for a full six weeks.

Last week’s endurance test was a ‘free sample’ of summer’s living hell when parents must wrangle their offspring for almost two solid months.

Father-of-two Tom Logan said: “I’m barely satisfying my own selfish needs, let alone the demands of a juvenile on a Twister and Pom-Bears comedown.

“Six weeks is a disgusting amount of time. It’s literally a month with two extra punishment weeks added on. What are we actually paying our taxes for?

“The worst bit of the summer holidays is the 20 second break between episodes of Paw Patrol on Netflix. Do I want another episode? Are they taking the piss? Of course I do you sick bastards. ”

Logan’s seven-year-old son Jack said: “I can’t wait to fill my dad’s hollow Pinterest board of a life with the words ‘I’m bored’ screamed as loud as my tiny lungs will allow.”