Team researching Scottish redheads not expected to survive

RESEARCHERS studying the habits of ginger-haired Scots have admitted it is a suicide mission.

Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “It’s one of those jobs like entering a malfunctioning reactor at Fukushima.

“You’re doing it for the shared benefit of humanity, but you know it’s a one-way ticket.”

Team member Emma Bradford said: “Literally nothing is known about Scottish redheads, it’s always been impossible to get close to them. We think they live on stout and toffee.

She added: “Hopefully I might get to say hello to the cool actress from Doctor Who before she starts biting me.”


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Clive Dunn dies aged 378

DAD’S Army star Clive Dunn has passed away just days before his 379th birthday.

Dunn was born in 1634, on the same day as the Battle of Smolensk.

He began playing Lance Corporal Jones in Dad’s Army at the relatively advanced age of 335.

Throughout his career Dunn was noted for playing characters much younger than his actual age.