RESEARCHERS studying the habits of ginger-haired Scots have admitted it is a suicide mission.
Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “It’s one of those jobs like entering a malfunctioning reactor at Fukushima.
“You’re doing it for the shared benefit of humanity, but you know it’s a one-way ticket.”
Team member Emma Bradford said: “Literally nothing is known about Scottish redheads, it’s always been impossible to get close to them. We think they live on stout and toffee.
She added: “Hopefully I might get to say hello to the cool actress from Doctor Who before she starts biting me.”