A TEENAGER has taken the summer job which he will retire from in 2063.
18-year-old Nathan Muir’s role as a delivery driver, taken while awaiting his A-level results, is expected to last until September but will end only when human drivers are phased out for good.
Muir said: “Yeah, it’s hilarious, I’m a wage slave now.
“It’s piss-easy work and they’ve no idea how little I’m doing. Yesterday I was in the car park for 15 minutes smoking a doobie.”
Witnessed by the managing director, the incident has already been recorded in Muir’s record and will ensure he remains in a junior position for the next 20 years.
Muir, who will fail to find a university place because he is either working or in the pub with the lads from depot, added: “It’s actually quite relaxing to turn your brain off and coast for a few weeks, though any longer and I’d become a zombie.”
The teenager, who refers to his 28-year-old supervisor as a “basic rando” without realising he will be his boss for a further four decades, is saving for a motorbike he will never buy.
He said: “One perk of the place is the women, though. Hooked up with Amy from accounts last week.”
Describing the future wife who is already carrying his child, he said: “I doubt I’ll see her again, though. Not my type.”