NAIVE young people across the UK are thankful they are now permanently free from stress because their A-Levels are over.
Optimistic 18-year-olds are unaware that university will bring crippling debts, social anxiety and career pressure, and that is just the beginning.
Bright-eyed 18-year-old Tom Logan said: “I’m totally relieved to have finished my A-Levels. Nothing’s ever going to be as stressful as remembering quotes by Polonius.
“I’m off to uni in September, so all I need to do now is chill out for a few years and get a really creative, well-paid job afterwards. It’s all plain sailing from now on.”
However Logan remains blissfully unaware that university accommodation will mean getting uncomfortably close to many extremely difficult people and a few who are genuinely scary.
He is also completely unprepared for the experience of listening to hundreds of dickheads’ accounts of their gap years and getting really depressed in a few years when he realises all the jobs are rubbish.
Meanwhile recent graduate Emma Bradford said: “I’m just so relieved finals are over. Now I can get on with finding a career that’s badly paid and unfulfilling.”