MICK Lynch has said it’s time the working class acted in their own interests. Here Guardian reader Julian Cook agrees but says class war shouldn’t apply to him.
I’m on your side, comrades
You may do mindless manual labour while I have a responsible job in arts administration, but I’ll be with you manning the barricades. Unless we’ve got a big exhibition by Titian to organise. Then I’ll be too busy to overthrow our oppressors.
We don’t want to get carried away
Class war is good, but we don’t want to start confiscating private property or taking money from merely well-off people like me. I suggest taxing the super-rich like Philip Green, giving more money to nurses and youth clubs, and maybe a nice Olympics ceremony like in 2012. I think that’s more than enough.
Working class people are a bit ‘rough’
Much as I support the class struggle, I can’t help but notice that rude people are frequently of social grades C2, D and E, like the workmen who mocked my folding bicycle. I think people like that should stay oppressed.
We should resolve conflict like sensible adults
With more rail strikes due, the government and unions should sit down round a table and discuss it like sensible grown-ups. Obviously this is totally unrealistic with a determined union leader and a vehemently anti-union government, but saying it makes me feel I’m above petty politics and on a higher intellectual plane. Like Buddha. Yes. I’m like him.
Some middle class people work bloody hard, actually
I may not be chained to a machine in a factory, but at work I’m frequently snowed under with emails and sometimes I go all morning without my cup of Java. So if a mob turns up to take over my detached house, I’ll call the police. I know they’re fascist agents of the state, but we’ve just had a top-of-the-range wood burner installed.
Some of us would be more use in an administrative role
I’ve got several certificates in office administration, so I’d be more use to the revolution doing things like ordering stationery. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid to fight in the class war, just more in spirit than with an actual gun.