THE day that men talk about on International Women’s Day is finally here. Here’s how to celebrate it like a man.
Think about going on a half-arsed parade
There’s a distinct lack of events on International Men’s Day, so maybe you should fix this by organising a parade which celebrates man things? Some ideas for themes: doing weights, drinking beer and fishing. Alternatively, you could just think about it – like you do with DIY – and stay slumped on the sofa watching TV instead. Nothing’s more manly than that.
Hide your emotions
A day which highlights the positive aspects of men is a good thing, but don’t get carried away by smiling or looking happy. Even an abrupt nod of the head would be going overboard. Instead you should remain as stony-faced as possible, like real men who have fought in wars but don’t talk about it.
Don’t invite women to the festivities
Women have a whole day a year to celebrate how great they are, despite men’s best efforts to ruin it. So on International Men’s Day women should step back and give men room to bask in their brilliance for once. Given that they’re expected to do this on every other day of the year it should be easy for them.
Watch films that celebrate masculinity
You can get away with marathoning Die Hard, Terminator 2 and The Expendables in a single evening if you call it a screening of films which explore the masculine point of view. You’re challenging gender norms, definitely not watching your favourite movies with lots of kick-ass explosions and high-octane action set pieces.
Acknowledge all the amazing men in your life
International Men’s Day is the perfect time to acknowledge all the men who helped make you who you are. Take a moment to be grateful for Homer Simpson, Walter White, that guy who played Deadpool, and maybe even your dad if you’re still in contact. If you have sons, tell them they’re not all that bad really.