Thomas Piketty's Capital hailed as an unread classic

ECONOMIST Thomas Piketty’s Capital is on course to become the most unread book of the early 21st Century.

The book, which offers a devastating critique of capitalism, is well on its way to joining Naomi Klein’s No Logo and Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History Of Time as a shop-to-bookshelf classic.

Graduate Eleanor Shaw said: “Have you seen the size of this bastard? Plain cream cover, serious typeface, it looks fantastic on the shelf it will never leave.

“Put it next to my Malcolm Gladwells, The God Delusion and that Steve Jobs biography and bang, I’m a fucking polymath. Nobody needs to know about the Jilly Coopers under the bed.”

The book, which claims that the structural inequality in capitalist societies will lead to their collapse, has been embraced by the left-wing and fiercely criticised by the right-wing after they just looked at the blurb on the back.

Joseph Turner, of the Adam Smith Institute, said: “It’s actually very difficult to comprehensively disprove Piketty’s conclusions without knowing what they are, which would involve reading it.

“I ended up picking some random numbers off a page near the middle and saying they were wrong.”

Piketty said: “The arguments in the first half of my book are absolutely watertight.

“I assumed nobody would get past that so the last 340 pages are cut and pasted from Katie Price’s Love, Lipstick and Lies

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Racist nans now in charge

RACIST nans are to set out their programme for government after seizing control of the country.

Senior civil servants will meet with influential 78-year-old Mary Fisher later today, although she has already warned  that they are not coming in if their shoes are mucky.

The issues will include ‘other races’, why they keep changing the names of chocolate bars, and next door’s tree which is now so tall it nearly touches the telephone wires.

Fisher said: “I’ve made a list of all the races that want sending home, which is basically all of them apart from the Asian man who drives the Dial-A-Ride bus.

“He can stay. Not his family though.”

Fisher will also lobby the prime minister to enforce weekly grandchild visits, make Post Office staff be a bit more friendly and to replace all other television presenters with the hosts of Country File.