Throwing a shit out of a window now romance

THROWING a turd out of a window, then retrieving it, then being rescued by firemen, is now considered romantic. 

After similar exploits went viral, women across Britain are finding themselves rejected by men who want real romance like fishing your own excrement out of a toilet, then disposing of it badly and becoming painfully trapped. 

Nathan Muir said: “I keep getting these woman who come back from the toilet with no thrilling stories to share and who seem offended when I ask.

“I’m just an old-fashioned romantic who wants to meet the right girl upside down over a shit, a bit like in that famous scene in Romeo and Juliet where she lobs a huge log off the balcony and it hits Mercutio in the eye.”