Sunday, 7th June 2020

Toddlers into making their parents look like lying w**kers

TODDLERS have confirmed that refusing to do the clever thing they have been doing all week so their parents look like liars is their favourite game. 

Children aged between one and three admitted that they often only learn new skills in order to deny having them when asked.

Two-year-old Bradley Ryan said: “I stacked my blocks in a tower. Mummy was so pleased that I knew it’d be great fun not to, later.

“Sure enough, once Daddy came home she laid out all the blocks and I chewed one, threw another and showed no hint of understanding that they could even go on top of each other.  He went upstairs muttering ‘lying cow’.”

Mum of an two-and-a-half-year-old Nikki Hollis said: “Josh has been reciting the whole alphabet all week but when I took him to playgroup, nothing.

“He just looked at me uncomprehendingly, stuck a toy car up his nose and started shouting ‘poobum’ again. What is the point?”

Josh Hollis said: “In the car home I’m reciting it backwards. Just to spite her.”