Toughest thing about marriage is when wife scrapes car, confirm husbands

MEN have agreed that marriage takes work, that it is a marathon not a sprint, and the toughest part is when the wife scrapes the car again. 

Husbands across Britain acknowledged that the challenges of lifelong partnership are outweighed by the rewards, except paying body shops £500 a fucking month because the wife drives like a an arse.

Nathan Muir, from Coventry, said: “Seriously. Again?

“The same fucking post in the same fucking driveway? It’s not moved. It doesn’t hop about. It’s exactly where it was when she scraped it last month.

“And the hardest bit, the real struggle, is she comes in all in tears and I’m hugging her and saying ‘What’s wrong love?’ and then she tells me and I’m just thinking ‘for fuck’s sake’.

“We’ve got kids, we’ve got a mortgage, we still have a surprisingly good sex life. It’s only when she scrapes the car I want to leave it all behind and become a deep-sea fisherman.”

Wife Sandra Muir said: “Is he still talking about that? He knows how much it upset me.”

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I am never flying Ryanair again, declares woman for 13th time

A WOMAN has sworn she will never again travel with Ryanair, having sworn the same thing on 12 previous occasions.

Francesca Johnson’s vow, following her recent trip to Barcelona, took a very similar form to her previous vows, all of which she eventually recanted after noticing a cheap new Ryanair destination.

Johnson said: “We were treated like cattle, despite the fact that I tweeted about their customer service when we went to Malta last summer and said I’d never fly with them again.

“I had to pay fifteen quid just so they could reprint my boarding pass, just like that time I flew with them to Budapest, which made me so angry I nearly flew back with another company.”

She added: “I had to pay thirty pounds just to check in some luggage, which reminded me of my trip to Dublin when the same thing happened and I demanded to speak to the captain. That was also the one that was delayed four hours, or was that the one in Sweden? Both, I think.”

She stressed that from now on, she would only be using EasyJet, an airline she has promised never to use again a mere five times.