A TRAIN station piano has apologised for all of the performances made by attention-seeking twats.
Piano Donna Sheridan, located in London St Pancras, feels personally responsible for all of the amateur musicians who cannot resist using her to show off their skills in public.
Sheridan said: “You’re rushing to work and there’s a bunch of people blocking your way because they’re all filming a moron hammering out Clair de lune at the wrong speed.
“Meanwhile I just wanted to retire to a primary school assembly hall or a hipster’s flat where I would be used as a book shelf and place to store old playing cards.”
Public piano player Martin Bishop said: “Train stations can be places of frustration and expensive food, so I like to lift everyone’s spirits by playing Flight of the Bumblebee. I think everyone appreciates the gesture.”
Sheridan added: “What a f*cking dickbag.”