THOUSANDS of costumed children and their parents are under the mistaken impression that they live in America, it has emerged.
The wrong-headed youngsters will dress up as witches and suchlike to indulge in the American ritual of visiting houses for sweets, something that makes absolutely no sense in the UK.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “There is a growing mass delusion involving something called ‘trick or treat’.
“It’s one of those things like monster trucks, Twinkies and Hulk Hogan that they love in the so-called ‘states’ but is in fact completely demented.
“Householders are quite entitled to tell these children to piss off on the basis that they are culturally irrelevant.”
Home owner Bill McKay said: “I had these two little ones turn up dressed as orcs. I held my ground and said, ‘This isn’t America – so fuck off’.
“They went off crying, but sometimes life’s lessons come hard. I am proud of myself.”