Tube carriage impressed by powerful display of manspreading

A MAN on a tube train has established himself as a powerful and sexually successful individual by spreading his legs quite far apart.

Phone shop manager Martin Bishop, 46, got on at Goodge Street and splayed his legs at a 160 degree angle, giving lucky passengers a fine view of his manly groin.

Commuter Donna Sheridan said: “I realised I was in the presence of a leader of men, perhaps a billionaire or an army officer loved by his troops for leading from the front.

“As a woman I was immediately seduced by his masterful display of animal dominance. I’m a pretty staunch feminist but I just wanted to drape myself over him like a Playboy Bunny.

“The way his enormous belly strained against his sweaty office shirt just added to the erotic frisson. I’ll definitely be thinking of that in bed tonight.”

City worker Tom Logan said: “I earn 200k and I’m pretty buff from all the sport I do, but it was clear to me this powerful alpha male was my superior in every way.

“I had an urge to say ‘Lead me, o my King, and I will follow!’, but unfortunately he got off at Tufnell Park.”