Tube to introduce ‘racists only’ carriages

LONDON Underground is to introduce special carriages where racists can share their hatred on the way to work.

The carriages will provide bigoted passengers with their own space in which to shout incoherently about blacks committing all the crime, how all white women are whores, or the Jews controlling the weather.

A Transport For London spokesman said: “We value all our customers, whether they just want to get from A to B, or whether they want to get from A to B while screaming garbled racist abuse.

“A few years ago racism was seen as the preserve of BNP thugs, but nowadays you’re just as likely to see a black woman shouting abuse at a Ukrainian man, or an Indian man telling a Somali refugee to go back to where he came from.

“It’s what makes London such a vibrant and cosmopolitan city.”

The new carriages will be fitted with alcoholic drinks dispensers to aid the incoherence of the diatribes, while video screens will display racist-friendly content, ranging from the Nuremberg rallies to scientifically unsound black supremacism.

Office manager Nikki Hollis said: “Normally I’d have to wait until I got home before I could start spewing racist bile on Stormfront.

“But now I can just hop on the tube and start shouting about how the Muslims are taking over but I’m white British and proud so you can all just FUCK OFF!”

If the ‘racists only’ carriages prove successful, TFL plans to introduce similar ‘twats only’ carriages for pissed rugby fans, shrieking teenagers visiting Camden and fuckers with bongo drums.