BRITONS are delivering Christmas cards with maximum stealth to avoid interacting with relatives and neighbours.
Many people have developed commando-style tactics to put cards through the letterboxes of people they supposedly like without being forced to talk to them.
Accountant Tom Logan said: “You creep down the drive, slide the card through the letterbox as quietly as possible, then run like fuck.
“If a neighbour or relative sees you from the lounge window it’s game over. You’re looking at a glass of sherry and a tedious conversation about their daughter going to university.
“Darkness and surprise are your friends. I only deliver cards at night wearing dark clothes and soft-soled shoes.
“If it’s people I really want to avoid, like my in-laws, I make a friend take me in the car. Once the card’s away I jump back in shouting ‘GO GO GO!’”
Donna Sheridan said: “I was delivering a card to Bob and Sandra across the road but got careless and triggered a security light. Suddenly they were at the front door inviting me in.
“They got me in the lounge and gave me a real working over – home-brew wine and their holiday snaps from Malta. I escaped 50 minutes later but I still get flashbacks.”