UK recklessly getting into debt to buy food

IRRESPONSIBLE Britons are running up huge debts to live in buildings and buy food.

Personal debt is at its highest level since 2008 due to people using credit to splash out on luxuries like bags of pasta, rent payments and getting their car repaired.

Office worker Donna Sheridan said: “I was in Lidl when I saw this adorable bag of potatoes. They looked so lovely and filling I couldn’t resist putting them on my card.

“It was irresponsible but I think we all deserve little treats, like paying your council tax so collection agencies don’t immediately start threatening you every day.”

Van driver Martin Bishop said: “I was really leading the high life on my credit card – three meals a day, the latest shower gel, my own kettle. At one point I owned 20 pairs of socks.

“Now I can’t sleep for worrying. I could really kick myself for frittering all that money on fancy electricity bills just to look like a big shot in front of my friends.”

Personal finance expert Emma Bradford said: “It’s easy to overspend with credit cards because it doesn’t feel as though you’re handing over real money for that expensive tin of baked beans with sausages in.

“Many creditors will accept a payment plan where you give them all your money and live off a biscuit a day.”

CEO has already made what you earn in a year although to be fair you do f**k all

THE head of a massive company has earned more than your annual salary in just four days, although to be fair you don’t really work very hard.

CEO Julian Cook, who earns £4 million a year, certainly does not deserve such high pay but nor did you deserve what you got yesterday for eating leftover Celebrations and complaining about your hangover. 

Office worker Francesca Johnson said: “Certainly the amount he gets compared to how much more he does is disproportionate, but I didn’t even turn my out-of-office off until this morning so I’m not in the strongest position to argue. 

“He probably has to send emails at midnight and other tiring shit like that. He looks knackered and will probably keel over when he’s 54.”

She added: “Is it not the British dream to earn just about enough money for doing bugger all? Are we not each of us, in our own ways, living that same dream?”