Under-10s mostly Nazis

YOUNG children are the most fascist group in Britain, with pensioners a distant second, it has emerged.

The Institute for Studies found that primary school children have a disturbing fondness for brutality, terror, arbitrary discrimination and shouting.

According to nine year-old Denys Hatton, from Stevenage, he would not vote for Nigel Farage because the UKIP leader ‘does not go far enough’.

Thrusting his hand in the air like a Nazi stormtrooper when asked how Britain should deal with immigration, Hatton said: “They should put giant spikes in their bottoms.”

Emma Bradford, seven, from Doncaster, echoed Benito Mussolini by claiming that people with freckles ‘also have freckles on their bottoms’, before laughing like an SS guard.

And in a disturbing parallel with Heinrich Himmler’s hatred of metropolitan intellectuals, eight year-old martin Bishop said teachers should be ‘dragged around fields by their bottoms’.

Anti-fascism campaigner Norman Steele said: “There’s no point in trying to educate them. They should all be in prison.”

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Lovers attaching garage doors to bridges

COUPLES are pledging their devotion to each other by placing double up-and-over garage doors at romantic bridges.

The trend began last year when a single-skin white roller door with the words ‘Debs 4 Wills 4 Ever’ scratched onto it was left on the Pont des Arts in Paris.

Tom Logan, from Bromsgrove, and his fiancée Emma Bradford believe a garage door is a more robust way of proclaiming their commitment than a cheap padlock.

Logan added: “Our door is made of high quality thick-gauge galvanised steel which means it can withstand even the severest of knocks – just like our love.”

Newlyweds Stephen Malley and Nikki Hollis, from Durham, picked a steel-braced cedarwood door with Jacobean panelling to attach to the Ponte Fabricio in Rome, where they spent their honeymoon.

Hollis said: “The door has been dip immersed which gives it all-weather protection – much as Steve and I do for each other.”

Hardware supplier Roy Hobbs said: “There’s nothing that says ‘romance’ like a garage door with a high-quality cylinder lock and short-shaft zinc handle.

“Except of course a couple of lengths of freshly creosoted larch-lap fencing.”