VISITORS to a completely spotless house have been asked to ‘forgive the mess’, it has emerged.
Carolyn Ryan welcomed guests into her fastidiously clean home by pretending that it was a sh*t tip, despite having spent the previous week scrubbing every possible surface within an inch of its life.
Straightening a coaster, Ryan said: “It’s a shame you have to see everything in such a state of disarray.”
Visitor Tom Booker said: “My flat always has my tattered underwear out to dry and spaghetti stains on the ceiling.
“I think this obsessive cleanliness is a cover up for something.”
Ryan added: “It might seem weird to some people, but I think cleanliness is next to godliness. Just don’t go nosing around in the cistern because it’s full of dildos.”