Voter who liked Labour policy slapping himself around the face

A VOTER who thought a policy in Labour’s manifesto sounded ‘attractive’ is slapping his own face repeatedly and telling himself to ‘wake up’. 

Tom Logan, 38, was horrified at his own positive reaction to the abolition of tuition fees, calling it ‘levelling the playing field for talent’ before calling himself a ‘irresponsible dickhead’ moments later.

Catching himself a solid blow on the right side of his face, Logan said: “Get real, you idiot.

“You think Britain can afford handouts to every lazy millennial who fancies a three-year holiday and a gender studies degree?

“Yes, but you benefited from it. I said SHUT UP!

“These policies are promises that haven’t been costed. Like Brexit, you mean? No, that’s different. Because it’s different, that’s why.

“You’re an adult now, and you vote for the fiscally sensible party. The ones who’ve increased the national debt to record levels.”

He added: “Silence! Corbyn’s a nutter!”