SCHOOL halls being used as polling stations have an overpowering childhood stench, it has been claimed.
Voters reported feeling nauseous at the pungent aroma of tile polish, decades of boys’ body odour and over boiled vegetables.
31-year-old Norman Steele said, “I have told people I’ll be holding my nose and voting Labour and it’s literally true.
“Setting foot in my old school, the hospital-meets-hormones stink also has a hint of flatulent fourth-former Graham Smedley, dogshit-tainted trainers and grey shepherd’s pie served in big metal trays.
“I forced myself to vote because it’s a tight seat, but if there’s another election in five months’ time then forget it.”
Emma Bradford, from Swindon, said: “Pushing through those double doors is like opening a portal to nose hell.
“I couldn’t vote, the stink of fetid gym kit is too strong. Democracy is great but not if it smells of balls.”