We may have too much money, admit couple doing up wet room again

A COUPLE have admitted they may have too much spare cash after deciding to refurbish their shower room for the third time in 10 years.

Martin and Louise Bishop stressed that as soon as the ‘vital’ work is finished they may begin to re-examine their attitude towards having this level of disposable income.

Louisa Bishop said: “We’re converting our en-suite from a walk in shower to a wet room with underfloor heating. To tell you the truth, I thought they were all the same thing. I don’t even know what I’m paying for anymore.

“In the family bathroom, the Jacuzzi could do with a bit of sprucing up, but I really do think we have reached the point where we could do something else with the money. I’m not offering to pay more tax, I’m just thinking out loud.”

Martin Bishop said: “It’s a dreadful dilemma. We’ve worked our way through the entire catalogue of the John Lewis ‘Home’ collection, but what on earth do we now?

“You’d think there would be a charity for people like us, but we’re expected to just cope on our own.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Facebook told to piss off with this 'Friendversary' thing 

FACEBOOK needs to stop telling people how long they have been friends on Facebook, because no-one gives a shit, it has been confirmed.

The social network is encouraging users to ‘celebrate’ the anniversary of becoming ‘friends’ with someone, but has failed explain why this matters in any way whatsoever.

Facebook user, Emma Bradford said: “Me and my friend, Nikki have been best mates since we we’re six years-old, when I told her that she couldn’t eat crayons.

“We can’t be sure of the exact date, but it was over 20 years ago now. Still, at least Facebook let us know that we had a Friendversary last week.

“The date for this is based on the date we both started using the same social media platform. That’s great, but not quite as important as when I had to stop her from choking on a crayon.”

Facebook user, Tom Booker said: “It told me today that me and a bloke from work have had a three year Friendversary. We decided that while it was obviously a significant milestone we would continue to be very casual acquaintances who would have our annual two minute chat at the Christmas party.”