What’s a ‘Leveson’? asks The Internet

THE thing where everyone gets their news has promised to find out what a ‘Leveson’ is.

No results for ‘nyoospayper’

As Sir Brian Leveson’s 2,000 page report on media standards was unveiled, The Internet reckoned it would be very useful for sticking underneath the wonky legs on the tables where people put their laptops.

The Internet said: “According to Wikipedia this chap has spent 16 months investigating the behaviour of the British press. It also says he used to be a woman.

“Anyway, I’m sure this independent watchdog will do a fantastic job of watchdogging – I’m sorry how do you pronounce it… ‘nyoospaypers’?

“And then in five years time, when the last printing press has been melted down and turned into servers, they can watchdog something else.”

The Internet added: “I see there’s now thousands of interesting blog entries popping about Leveson. I’m just so brilliant at this kind of thing.

“It does look like it’s shaping up to be a very lively, well-informed debate with many people speculating exactly when Mr Leveson had his sex change.

“Meanwhile, there do seem to be some other people stressing that he was never a woman, but that he is King of the Masons.

“And look, there’s Twitter and Facebook, bursting at the seams with people committing the most flagrant contempt of court, over and over and over again.

“Good luck sorting that lot out.”